Legs? What legs?
by JoJo1
Summary: Xavier has found a webcam...and he takes his opportunity to use it.


Series: Video Camera Round Robin  
Author: Xavier  
Email: charles_frances_xavier@xaviers.edu  
Feedback: I've stolen the plotbunny bazooka and know how to use it...read that as you will ;)  
Disclaimer: If someone really thinks I own anything in this I have this straight-jacket that could come in handy...  
Archive Rights: Sure, sure. If you really wants this...but ask first allright?  
-------------------------  
The view shakes a little before settling down. A "Are you finished yet?" can be heard from outside view.  
"Yes. Sorry, Professor. Controlling this thing with telekinesis was harder than I thought."  
"Fine, but we can start now?"  
"Whenever you're ready."  
"Let's just do it."  
  
The view moves to the right and reveals professor Xavier sitting in his  
wheel-chair but there's something wrong with this picture. That can't possibly be professor Xavier can it?   
Xavier wouldn't dress himself in nothing but a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. No, that would be the sign of  
the soon coming apocalypse.  
  
Xavier detects that from all of the fanfic authors watching him with mouths wide open in suprise,  
he is a psychic after all.  
  
"I assure you. This is me. As hard this may be to believe for some of you, I  
wasn't born in a suit. And I don't wear it in bed either. Stop looking like fish stranded on the  
beach. Especially you two that's projecting your astonishment so strongly. You know who you are.  
For the rest of you, they're in Indiana and Phoenix.   
  
Now that we've cleared up that little misunderstanding there are a few more  
things I'd like to take the opportunity to make clear.  
  
First of all, I'm not now nor have I ever been in a romantic relationship with  
Eric. Clear?"  
  
"But Charles..."  
  
"Not now Jean! Or do you want me to talk about your affair with Ororo while  
online? Didn't think so. Now where was I? Oh, yes. No romantic relationship with Eric.  
Period. The only past we have in common was that we were good friends once striving for  
a common goal. Unfortunately, as you all know, that's no longer the case but that was  
all there ever was. And that we both had this fascination with strange machinery. You  
know, things like Cerebro and that contraption he built on the Statue of Liberty. End  
of story there. And if anyone ever considers writing one of those sick PWP-stories  
with me and Eric as the stars, I'll sue you for sexual harassment.  
  
You know, I wouldn't be ashamed of being written as homosexual if that were the  
case. It would be rather hypocritical of me trying to hide what I am when I'm  
fighting for people to be tolerant wouldn't it?"  
  
A small chuckle can be heard.  
  
"What now Jean? May I finish this before the batteries runs out?"  
  
"Sorry".  
  
"And number two. Why do you insist on writing me as this well-meaning but  
unable leader? Surely there must be worse offenders than me there? Sure I've made mistakes but  
I'm only human and I assure you that everyone here trust me on helping them when  
needed and I daresay even respect me for it. Including Marie and Logan. But even worse is  
this one that wrote me as this brute who would use Logans gift as a means for me to  
regain the ability to walk."  
  
*glares evily towards Utah*  
  
"No, Khaki or whatever your real name is. I would never do that. You learn to  
live with having to be in a chair all the time."  
  
Case number three. I don't have a problem with the people here being involved  
with younger ones. Whoever came up with that silly notion? It's just romantic that Scott and  
Kitty became a couple, don't you agree Jean?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Oh, well. You'll see it eventually. Same thing with Marie and Logan. As long  
as all involved are of legal age I can't see a problem. But come to think of it...I do have one  
problem with it. Jean, remind me to call the building company again. The sound proofing is  
inadequate.  
  
And lastly, and this is a plea. Never ever compare me to Captain Picard again.  
I have to hide in the basement whenever there are re-runs on that annoying show  
if I don't want Bobby and John to make impressions of Riker and Data whenever  
I'm around. And speaking of those two...if they ever do that thing to my  
wheelchair again they're on kitchen duty until they retire.  
  
Sorry if I came across as bossy or pissed of or anything but what you're  
writing about me just isn't true. So if you all make amends we can just pretend this never  
happened, okay? See you all sometime and do drop by for a visit if you're ever near Westchester.  
  
Okay, Jean. How do you turn this thing off?"  
  
The screen goes black again. 


End file.
